Down with Debbie!
by KBerry
Summary: A fic for HOAnubisTS! Let's face it-everyone hates Debbie, especially Darren fangirls. And a secret organisation called Debbie Haters United have finally decided to make a stand-but getting rid of Debbie is harder than they thought...


**This is a fic written specially for HOAnubisTS! It had been written a long time ago, but my laptop broke TWICE THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN. OK, the first time I might have stepped on it...but the second time it really wasn't my fault.**

**Anyway, I wrote it out again, and to make up for its lateness I made it extra long. I declare that today is officially HOAnubisTS is awesome day! So, this fic is dedicated to her awesomeness, her incredible writing talent (her stories are amazing), and just how good a friend she is.**

**Darren: Aw, that's nice. **

**Steve: *pukes***

**Darren: *shoves him* It is! **

**Steve: *pukes again* She fangirls..._you. _*shudders***

**Darren: Who wouldn't?**

**Me: Anyway, here's a story that I know most people will like-some people have had enough of a certain Debbie Hemlock, and have decided to finally bring her down!**

* * *

Large, heavy raindrops pounded on the ceiling of the dark room that was lit only by a few small, flickering candles. On the wall was a poster featuring a hemlock plant being stamped on, with a caption saying '**HEMLOCK IS POISON'**. Seated at a round table were some girls, all sporting serious faces. There was boom of thunder that seemed to shake the very room and a piecing whistle of wind as the girl at the end of the table rose, the light from the candles dancing in her eager, hate filled eyes.

"We have put up with her for so long," she spoke quietly, but everyone hung on to her every word. "We allowed her to exist and torment us and take what is rightfully MINE!" She slammed a fist down onto the table and scowled. "And on this night, I say NO MORE. It's time to end it!"

"Let's take this bitch down!" yelled another member of the group, leaping up from her seat in eagerness.

"For Darren fangirls everywhere!"

"For the world!"

"Debbie Haters United, I say DOWN WITH DEBBIE!"

"Down with Debbie!" everyone chanted loudly as a flash of lightening briefly lit the room, illuminating the scene. "Down with Debbie!" After about fifteen minutes of excited battle cries and chatter, they settled down to make a plan.

Plan A-Shooting her with an arrow

Two of the members crouched behind someone's garden hedge, watching the road through a gap in the leaves.

"OK," whispered the leader, Jenny. "She normally walks to work on a Tuesday, and comes by here. When she's directly in front of us, I'll shoot her-" She picked up the bow and quiver of arrows she had beside her, "with these." The other member, Rose, looked at them anxiously.

"Are you sure this will work?" she asked doubtfully. "I mean, have you ever actually used a bow and arrow before?"

"It can't be that hard," Jenny replied. "It looked pretty simple in The Hunger Games."

"Yes but-"

"Sssh!" Jenny hissed, arranging the arrow on her bow. "She's coming!" Rose peered around the side of the hedge and saw Debbie Hemlock walking down the road, dressed in a black skirt that was much too short and tight, and shiny high heels that were much too tall, with a frilly white blouse that had too many buttons undone, and a face with too much make-up on. In her hand she clutched a designer bag, which Rose secretly planned to steal once they'd done the deed.

"This is it!" Jenny said in excitement as Debbie got closer. She arranged her bow and arrow, and waited.

Five steps away.

Jenny pulled back the arrow.

Four steps away.

Jenny aimed carefully.

Three steps away.

Rose covered her eyes.

Two steps…One step…

With a cry Jenny released the arrow, which sped through the air towards Debbie, but missed by inches and hit her bag instead.

"Darn," Jenny muttered, and Rose looked to see what had happened. Debbie was screaming hysterically at the top of her lungs, and her arrow pierced bag lay a little way away. The papers she had inside blew around and tumbled away in the light wind, and her lipstick rolled out and clattered down a drain.

"We could try again?" Rose suggested. Jenny shook her head miserably.

"Too many people are watching her, and she moved away from the right position."

"So…what now?"

Plan B-Splatter art

The members of the Debbie Haters United stood on the roof of Debbie's building, their hair whipping around their numbed faces in the wind as they looked down at the ground below.

"I'm still not sure about this," Jenny grumbled. Jeanette sighed.

"Relax, it'll work. This is certain to be the best plan ever," she said happily.

"Even so, I wish it wasn't his. I mean did you HAVE to invite him?" Jenny threw a disgusted look at Steve, who was standing next to another member, holding a suspicious looking carrier bag.

"Plans are his thing," Jeanette explained. "If he can't kill her, no one can. And you said you wanted it to be creative. Steve's plans are awesome."

"What if he pushes us over the edge of the roof?"

"Moi?" Steve asked innocently, smirking and approaching her. "What a low opinion you have of me!"

"It's hardly surprising," she sniffed. Steve laughed.

"Whatever. But I'm not going to push you over the edge of the roof. I want to kill Debbie, it'll hurt Darren, therefore it makes me happy." Jenny shifted uncomfortably.

"It might hurt him…but it's better in the long run…right?" she said desperately. Steve smiled and said again, "Whatever."

"So what's in the bag?" asked Sarah, who didn't look happy about the arrangement either. "Is it a bomb?"

"Nope. See for yourself." With everyone watching nervously, Steve reached into the bag and pulled out a huge, heavy looking…

"Melon?" They all stared at the watermelon he was holding triumphantly.

"Yep, it's a melon," he said. "And is essential to our plan."

"…how?" Abby-who was normally Steve's devoted fangirl-asked in doubt. "I mean, of all your plans…you're going to kill her with a fruit? Are you hoping she'll choke on the pips or something?" Steve's grin widened until it looked so terrifyingly evil that Rose and Jenny actually took a few steps back from him.

"Tell me, have any of you ever dropped a melon off the top of a building before?" he asked. They all shook their heads. "Well, it's a beautiful sight. It falls through the air, then splatters on the hard ground, showering anyone nearby with bits of melon." He looked dreamy for a second, possibly remembering many pieces of melon art he had created. Jenny coughed.

"The plan?"

"Oh yeah. Well, can you imagine what would happen if you dropped that melon onto a person?" he asked smugly. Everyone stared at him, horrified, shocked, and a bit impressed.

"You mean…you mean…"

"Yep! My plan is to drop this melon off the top of this building, onto Debbie as she comes home from work, creating the best splatter art the world has ever seen!" he exclaimed, practically bouncing up and down in his excitement.

"That's…" Rose began, but couldn't finish.

"Disturbing," Sarah offered.

"Gross," Abby said. "But kind of cool."

"Awesome," Jeanette said.

"Horrible," Jenny sighed, then smiled. "But it's Debbie, so I really don't care."

"Excellent!" Steve beamed, then looked over the edge of the building. "I see her!"

"Get ready to drop the melon," Jenny instructed. "But make sure you do it at exactly the right time!"

"OK, I will, I've done this a thousand times." Steve waited, the melon held aloft, as he waited for Debbie. "Closer…a bit closer…NOW!" He let go of the melon, which dropped down, down, down-

_SPLAT!_

There was a long silence.

"Did…did it hit her?" Jenny whispered. Steve said nothing and kept staring over the edge of the roof. "Steve?"

"Um…"

"Did it work?" Sarah pressed.

"Well…sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Yeah…er…it DID hit…someone."

"Oh no, Steve, tell me you didn't!" Rose gasped, running over to see, then recoiling in horror. "Oh my GOD!"

"I don't know how I missed!" Steve wailed. "It always worked before!"

"You KILLED SOMEONE!" Jenny shrieked. "And it wasn't Debbie!"

"On the plus side," he said, looking down again. "I think she got splattered a bit. Haha, look at her scream…ha! She fainted!"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Sarah choked out.

"I was right though," Steve said smugly. "It does look cool."

Plan C-Swarm

"OK," said Jeanette, who came up with the plan. "Third time lucky."

"Who knew that killing someone could be this difficult?" Jenny said thoughtfully. "I have new respect for Steve."

"We all know that today Debbie is taking her class on a trip to the park so she can get them write a poem about nature," Jeanette said. "And this will be the perfect time to strike." She pulled a map of the large park out of her pocket and spread it on the grass in front of them (they were hiding behind a large oak tree). "I have discovered bee hives here, here, here, and a wasp nest…here," she said, pointing at areas circled in red on the map. "We will station a group member at each of these sites, along with some honey and a big stick. When Debbie gets near one of these places, tip the honey all over her, and before she has time to scream for help like the typical damsel in distress she is, hit the bee hive or wasp nest with the stick and watch as they swarm and attack her."

"But…what if they attack us?" A girl called Sam asked anxiously. Jeanette shrugged.

"Hopefully they'll go for Debbie. If not, run like hell." She opened her bag and pulled out something.

"You have a protective suit!" Jenny exclaimed.

"I only have one. Sorry." They all watched jealously as she put it on. "Right. Sam-you go to the bee hive near the duck pond. Jenny, you go to the one in the oak tree by the park bench, I'll go to the bee hive near the fir tree, and Rose, you can go to the wasp nest," she instructed.

"Why do I have to go to the wasp nest?"

"Because you have the biggest stick."

"That makes no sense! Can't I swap with someone else? I mean, you have the suit-"

"No, and that's final." And on that note, everyone went to their posts, muttering darkly.

Twenty Minutes Later

"Right, everyone behave-RONAN STICK WITH THE GROUP!" Debbie snapped. She had entered the park, a pack of miserable looking students behind her. Even though it was a clear skied, sunny day, the fact that Debbie was there seemed to darken it considerably. The boy called Ronan trudged back sadly, his escape plan ruined.

"As I was saying," Debbie said briskly. "No messing around, today is strictly educational! Get out your books and take notes on what you observe about nature, and particularly look for anything that could be used in a poem."

"I'm gonna call mine 'the cow in the park'," Ronan muttered to his friend Daniel, who sniggered. Unluckily for them, Debbie's bat like ears heard them.

"Don't be stupid, there's no cattle in the park," she snapped. Ronan breathed a sigh of relief-it was lucky she was so stupid or he would have been in detention for the rest of his school life. "Now everybody get a partner!" There a scramble as everyone hurried to find a partner, until only Ronan was left. Daniel had been snapped up by Jonathon.

"Miss," Ronan begged. "Please can we go in a three?"

"Of course not, that wouldn't be fair. You can be my partner," she replied, causing Ronan to go a sickly white colour.

If that class knew the deaths touch sign, they would have done it.

Then everyone split up to look around the park. Ronan walked a little behind his teacher, feeling sorry for himself. Every so often Debbie would shout for him to pick up the pace, or make comments like 'Look at that sapling! You could call it child of the forest in a poem', or 'Hear that woodpecker? Make a note-music of nature'. As Ronan was seriously considering running away, they reached a large duck pond surrounded by trees.

"Look at the water shimmering in the afternoon sunshine," Debbie said. "Poems involving water are usually some of the most beautiful, use of sibilance can…" Ronan tuned out, then frowned as a humming sound reached his ears. Had they been permanently damaged by his teacher screaming five days a week? No…it was coming from above him. He looked up at the tree, and his jaw dropped. Hanging from a branch was a large bee hive, and sitting on a branch above it was a girl around his age. She put a finger to her lips.

"Ronan?" Debbie snapped, glaring at him. "Are you listening? What are you looking at?" She stomped over, and as Ronan heard the rustle of the tree's leaves, he realised what was going to happen just in time and leapt out of the way as there was a crunch, a thud as the bee hive landed on the ground, and an angry buzzing sound. Before he could even gasp in surprise, a sticky golden liquid fell and splashed all over Debbie, who shrieked. Ronan looked up at the girl, then at Debbie and the bees that were quickly surrounding her.

"RONAN!" she screamed, swatting at the bees. "HELP ME!"

"Um…they're the soldiers of the trees, miss. You should respect them. Bye!" Then he took off, leaving Debbie to the mercy of the bees. Still screeching and flailing her arms around, she ran to the pond and leapt into the murky water, causing the ducks that were floating on the previously placid surface to take to the skies, honking angrily. The bees hovered over the water for a few moments, then flew back to their destroyed hive.

Back to Sam.

"Oh no." She scrambled down the tree, and the bees quickened their pace as they flew towards her. Sam tore through the park as fast as she could while being chased by a swarm of furious bees. "HELP! HELP GUYS! IT'S ALL GONE WRONG AGAIN, HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Jenny, who was nearest, heard the screams, but in her haste to help her friend she accidently kicked the hive she was beside, and had to join Sam in her run as more bees joined the swarm. They spotted Rose and ran towards her.

"NO!" she yelled. "Run the other way-NOOOOOO!" Jenny and Sam tripped over the wasps nest, and paused in horror for a moment, before the bees began to sting them and wasps spiralled out of the round, papery nest. "RUN!" Rose screamed.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'VE BEEN DOING?"

Meanwhile, as her friends got chased by hundreds of bees and wasps and Debbie sat unharmed but soaked in the pond, Jeanette stood by her tree, safe and snug in her suit, humming a song.

Plan D-Venom

As the group stood in Debbie's living room, they felt deflated. Rose, Sam and Jenny all had nasty red stings from the wasps and bees, which they managed to escape by locking themselves in a portable toilet and waiting for them to go away for an hour. Those who hadn't been involved in that particular plan felt extremely relieved, but sympathetic for those who were. With the exception of Jeanette, who was the only one to come out of it all without being hurt.

"I say if this plan fails we give up," Sam grumbled. Jenny-who had a shiny red sting on her nose-turned to her.

"We can't give up, we have to get rid of her!" she said.

"The way our plans have been going it's more likely we'll end up killing ourselves," Rose said, who had been stung so many times it looked like she had a bad case of chicken pox.

"Let's just try this plan," Jeanette suggested, annoyingly cheerful. "Evra helped us out specially, and if we kill Debbie, it's worth a few sacrifices!"

"Easy for you to say," Jenny grumbled. Jeanette ignored her.

"This plan was Abby's," she said, and the Abby smiled. "An excellent one. But Steve will still be mine."

"Riiight."

"Yes he will."

"Trust me, he won't."

"Will."

"Won't."

"Will!"

"WON'T!"

"Stop it!" Jenny snapped, and Jeanette and Abby glowered at each other. "Let's just get on with the plan." She picked up the plastic pet carrier at her feet and moved it into the centre of the room. Everyone stared at it anxiously.

"So…" Rose said, breaking the silence. "Who's going to open it?"

"Abby," Jeanette replied instantly, and the same time as Abby said "I think Jeanette should."

"I'll do it," Jenny decided, picking up a long pole with a small hook on the end. "I can undo the latch with this, then I'll run out. By the time Debbie arrives, the incredibly venomous snake will be on the loose. We'll see it all on the hidden cameras. Now leave, and I'll release the snake-"

"I think we should name the snake," Sam said suddenly. Jenny sighed irritably.

"Guys, we need to kill Debbie quickly-"

"We could call it…Bob?" Sarah suggested. Everyone shook their heads.

"Nah, it doesn't look like a Bob…"

"We'll just call it Snakey!" Jenny snapped. "OK?" They all stared at her.

"That's sick!"

"What?"

"That's what Murlough called Evra, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot…sorry. But really, does it matter-"

"We should call it Snape!" Sarah exclaimed. "It kind of sounds like Snake?"

"Yes!" Jeanette said excitedly. "Snape the snake!"

"Slitherus Snape," Sam giggled.

"I'M GOING TO RELEASE THE SNAKE!" Jenny shouted. That got their attention, and they were out of the room in a flash. Then, slowly and carefully, she used the hook to open the latch. The lime green snake slithered out, flicking its forked tongue curiously. Jenny quickly snatched up the empty carrier, and ran from the room without looking back, slamming the door behind her, shutting the deadly snake in the home of her enemy…

*Later, in the base*

Sarah sat at the desk, her head in her hands, staring at the screens mounted on the wall in front of her, all showing a different room in Debbie's home. Debbie wasn't home yet, and it was boring work staring at the screens that occasionally showed the snake they had dubbed Slitherus Snape moving from one place to the other, inspecting things curiously. To begin with they had all watched the screen, but as they entered the second hour they decided to go into the base's lounge to watch Harry Potter. Sarah had volunteered to watch the cameras, but was regretting her decision.

She was just nodding off, her head against the desk, when a loud crash and a shout of anger from the kitchen jerked her awake.

"WHY IS THERE NO POPCORN?" Steve screamed. Sarah sighed. They should never have allowed him into the group.

"The last cupboard on the right!" she called.

"WHAT?"

"THE LAST CUPBOARD ON THE RIGHT!"

"I DON'T SEE IT, HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME YOU-Oh wait here it is."

Sarah sighed again, and rested her head back on the desk, tuning out the sound of the microwave as Steve heated up the popcorn. Then-

"THIS IS SWEET POPCORN! I ONLY LIKE SALTED!" There was a bang, a smash, and the sound of popcorn scattering all over the floor. "IT'S DISGUSTING! WHY IS THIS STUFF IN THE BUILDING?!"

"Because some of us like it!" Sarah yelled. Steve emerged from the kitchen, looking furious.

"Why? How can you POSSIBLY like it?" he demanded to know. "When I rule the world I'll have it taken off shelves everywhere!"

"Oh shut up-"

"You can't tell me to shut up, I'm the Vampaneze Lord!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Oh, YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!"

"Wait, Steve-"

"There's no use begging, I've made up my mind-"

"No, seriously-"

"GOD you just GO ON AND ON AND ON-"

"DEBBIE'S HOME!" Sarah shouted, and Steve stopped, shoved her to one side and stared at the screen, watching Debbie walk through the door, clutching a single, dinky shopping bag. Then what looked like an enormous mountain of bags with legs staggered in after her. Steve's face lit up, while Sarah's collapsed with horror.

"Oh look, she brought her boyfriend," Steve said happily. Sarah leapt to her feet.

"GUYS! DEBBIE'S BACK, BUT SO'S DARREN!" She paused and squinted at the screen. "At least I think it's Darren, it's kind of hard to tell." A bag fell out of his arms, revealing his face and causing Debbie to screech at him about how there could have been something fragile in it. "Yeah, it's Darren."

The others rushed in, jostling to get a look at the screen.

"Oh no, Darren!" Jenny gasped. "We have to get him out!"

"Oh well, sacrifices need to be made. Full steam ahead, I say."

"Shut up, Steve!"

"Kurda would be upset if he saw this," a girl called Ash said sadly. "All of these attempted murders, and now Darren…"

"Well Kurda's not here," Jeanette reminded her. "And Darren's about to get killed by a snake."

"No," Jenny sobbed.

"There's always a chance it will get Debbie but not Darren?" Rose said half-heartedly.

"Yeah, hopefully he'll look after himself," Sam said. Jenny nodded, and they all fell silent to watch the screen…

*In Debbie's apartment*

"Darren, stop wobbling, you might drop one of the bags!" Debbie snapped from her seat on the sofa.

"I can't help it, they're heavy!" he groaned, stumbling slightly.

"Watch it! Put them in my room."

When Darren returned Debbie was still sitting there, her arms folded, her lips pressed into a thin line.

Darren had seen that expression many times before. He knew he was in deep shit.

"Um," he had just enough time to say, before Debbie exploded.

"I SAW YOU!" she screamed, while Darren stood there, stunned. "I SAW you Darren!"

"Saw…saw what?" he asked, completely confused. Debbie's nostrils flared alarmingly-Darren half expected her to start breathing fire, she looked so dragon-like.

"Saw you looking at another woman!" she screeched. Darren frowned.

"What? I never-"

"DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW!" she shouted, angry tears in her eyes.

"I honestly don't have a clue what you're talking about!"

"That girl on the bus home! The one with the blue hair, wearing the green tutu, with all the piercings!" she screamed back.

"Of course I stared, she was wearing a TUTU on a BUS!"

"You weren't staring at the tutu, you know full well where you were staring!"

"Debbie, this is stupid-"

"No, what's stupid is YOU! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN CARRY ON LIKE THIS! YOU KEEP SAYING YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU AREN'T PREPARED TO WAIT FOR ME! YOU KEEP STARING AND TALKING TO THESE OTHER GIRLS!"

"Like WHO?"

"That woman the other day! With the glasses!"

"What?" Darren looked confused. Debbie scowled.

"The blond with the hairnet!"

"You mean the one in McDonalds? I had to talk to her to place our order!"

"YOU TOOK A LONG TIME TO ORDER TWO CHEESEBURGERS!"

"OK, firstly I didn't order a cheeseburger, I only ordered a milkshake. And secondly, there was the whole routine of 'do you want that as a meal?' or 'will you be getting a drink today?' and 'what flavour milkshake do you want?'. It takes a while to order, then you have to wait-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" she half screamed, half sobbed. "Am I…am I not GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" As she broke down in tears, Darren looked ashamed.

"I…I'm sorry, Debbie," he said, and moved over to comfort her.

"NO!" she snapped the moment he came close and slapped him hard around the face. "We can't be like that!"

"But-"

"No!" She hit him again.

"I don't understand!" Darren whined. "What do you WANT?"

"I WANT YOU TO BE FAITHFUL!"

"I am!"

"YOU RAN OFF ON CHRISTMAS AND ONLY GAVE ME ONE DAY'S NOTICE AND DECORATED MY CHRISTMAS TREE! DECORATING A TREE DOESN'T MAKE IT OK DARREN!"

"This AGAIN?"

"YES! YOU RUINED MY CHRISTMAS!"

"Debbie-"

"DON'T SAY ANYTHING! YOU'RE AWFUL DARREN SHAN, YOU-"

"No, seriously-"

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME!"

"But Debbie there's a snake under the table!" They both froze, Darren's eyes pinned on the green snake by the table leg. Debbie's eyes widened in terror.

"OH MY GOD-"

"Ssssh!" Darren hissed at her. "You might scare it."

"This has been the worst day of my life," Debbie sobbed. "First I nearly got hit with an arrow, then a melon dropped out of the sky, then I got attacked by bees, then you stared at another woman, and now there's a snake in my living room!" Darren gave her strange look.

"What?" he asked in confusion, but then the snake shifted slightly and Debbie emitted a high pitched squeal.

"Darren I can't do this I have to get out of here!" she squealed. Darren thought for a moment.

"OK, I think I know a way we can both get out without risking being bitten-" He was cut off at that point as Debbie jumped over the table-screaming at the top of her lungs the entire time-landed on Darren, got off of Darren, then ran over to the door.

"RUN!" she screeched at him, before flinging the door open and saving herself, leaving poor Darren (who was still on the floor) alone with an irritated snake. Darren stared at. The snake looked back with its beady black eyes,

"I hate snakes," Darren muttered, then slowly got to his feet and began to back away. The snake hissed and shot forwards. "AH!" Darren gave up on stealth, turned and pelted towards the door….then slammed face first into it. "Damn it!" He quickly found the handle and tried to turn it. Nothing. "What the…?" He tried to use the handle again, but it wouldn't budge. "DEBBIE!" he yelled, hammering a fist on the door. "DEBBIE!"

"Darren?" she called from outside.

"The door won't open!"

"Yeah, it sticks sometimes! Just keep trying!"

"I'M BEING CHASED BY A SNAKE!"

"DON'T SHOUT AT ME DARREN!"

Darren swore loudly and proceeded to kick the door, before he heard a very worrying hiss behind him. The snake was right there, and it lunged forwards, its sharp fangs bared. If Darren hadn't been a half vampire he would have been bitten and poisoned, but his reflexes worked in his favour and he managed to dodge it. Without wasting any more time he ran to the nearest window, flung it open, swung over the edge and clawed his way down to the street below, away from the snake.

*In the base*

For a while, there was a long silence. Then Steve began to laugh.

"FUNNIEST. THING. EVER," he exclaimed, then added, "it's just too bad the snake didn't kill him."

"That was too close," Jenny said shakily. "Much too close."

"Maybe we should give up on the plans?" Ash suggested.

"No," Jenny said determinedly. "Did you see how she treated Darren? We can't let that carry on!"

"Then what do we do?" Rose asked. "All our other plans have failed-" There was a cough from behind her, and they all turned to see two members called Amber and Saphire standing there with smirks on their faces.

"I think we have a plan," Amber said.

Plan E-a rebellion

It was early morning as the students sat at their desks, watching Debbie Hemlock-their dragon of a teacher-write seemingly meaningless quotes on the board. The sky outside was a washed out blue colour tinted with grey, and the faintest wisps of clouds drifted along lazily. Ordinarily the students would be staring out of the window or nodding off at their desks, but not today. Today they sat rigidly, alert and wide awake.

"…and if you think about the different kinds of conflict Macbeth had to face the story can be read on many different levels. There's the mental conflict, his guilt and his desire battling each other as he tries to sort right from wrong, what he wants from what he should not gain because-JASON ARE YOU DOODLING IN YOUR BOOK?" Debbie shrieked. The boy called Jason hurriedly scribbled over what he had drawn (a picture of a cow with a label saying 'Miss Hemlock').

"No, miss. I mean, sort of. It was a note on Macbeth," he said hurriedly. She raised her eyebrows.

"Oh? And what note would that be?"

"Um…" Jason tried to casually put his arm over the scribble. "It was about his…battles and conflict."

"Let me see it, then."

"Oh no, miss, you see I think it might be wrong, and it's not very long, and…." He trailed off in horror as she started to walk over. As she approached, someone peeped in at the window, unnoticed by Debbie, but not the students. They'd been waiting for the signal. The girl at the window mouthed 'now'!

It happened quickly. Jason leapt up suddenly and shoved his teacher onto the floor. With a screech Debbie fell backwards, the heel of her shoe snapping. Two other students grabbed her arms, another two her legs, and hauled her across the classroom while Debbie screamed at them, wiggling around like some kind of demented worm, but unable to escape their grasp. They reached the stationary cupboard, dragged out the boxes until there was just enough space, and threw Debbie roughly inside, slamming and locking the door before she could recover. The students high fived each other in turn, blocked the door with a chair, and settled down to listen to their iPods or text while Debbie hammered on the door to the cupboard

"LET ME OUT!" she screamed shrilly. "OR YOU'LL BE IN DETENTION FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"

A few of the students sniggered, but none rushed to her aid.

"I DEMAND THAT YOU LET ME GO! LET ME OUT!"

The girl who was at the window-Saphire- climbed inside along with all other members of Debbie Haters United (minus Steve, who had left to do 'Lord stuff', which they took to mean bossing Gannen around and whining about Darren and Larten).

"Great plan," Jenny said admirably as she listened to Debbie sobbing and screaming from the cupboard. Saphire grinned.

"It was just so easy. Amber and I knew the kids must hate their teacher-I mean, it's DEBBIE-so a rebellion wouldn't be hard. I just told them all the plans, and…" She gestured towards the stationary cupboard, from which Debbie was slamming something against the door. "They did the rest."

"So, what now?" Abby asked.

"We sit and enjoy the show."

So that's what they did. It was quite entertaining, listening to Debbie shout curses, cry for help, hammer against the door, etc. However, after about five minutes, everything went quiet.

"…Is she OK in there?" Rose frowned.

"Maybe she suffocated?" Jenny said hopefully. Jeanette shook her head.

"No way. The plan was to leave her over the holidays and wait for her to starve to death."

Ash got down from her perch on the desk and approached the cupboard. She rapped on the door.

"Debbie?"

Debbie responded with a hysterical string of swear words and insults.

"Yeah, she's still alive."

"Darn," Jenny sighed, and they all settled back down to wait.

*meanwhile, in a hotel room*

Darren was sleeping peacefully in his bed, exhausted. This was partly because of his near death experience with the snake, but mostly from dealing with Debbie. He was dreaming about flying over puffy white clouds on the back of a giant flying pig when he was woken as his phone vibrated on his bedside table.

He sat up, yawned, and reached for it. He squinted at the bright screen and frowned at the message from Debbie.

**DARREN I'M LOCKED IN A CUPBOARD IN MY CLASSROOM! MY CLASS TURNED AGAINST ME AND ARE HOLDING ME PRISONER! SAVE ME!**

Darren rubbed his eyes and quickly texted her back.

**OK i'll leave now**

He was just pulling on his socks when she replied.

**USE A CAPITAL 'I'! AND HURRY UP I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER!**

Once he was fully dressed Darren went into the main room which housed the TV and tiny kitchen. Harkat was awake, and frowned as he entered.

"Why are you…up?" he asked. "I thought you were…going to sleep through…the day?"

"Debbie's class locked her in a cupboard," Darren mumbled, stumbling across the floor, still half asleep.

"What?"

"I don't know…I'll probably be back soon. I'll rescue her as soon as I can, and then she'll probably need comforting…" Daren yawned again, then opened the door, leaving the hotel room and a sympathetic Harkat behind.

*In the classroom*

Debbie was still screaming and sobbing from inside the cupboard, and everyone was still watching and laughing at her. But then, one by one, students left the classroom, deciding to go home. They had videoed their teacher's capture and that would amuse them for a long time. The group members stayed and listened to Debbie screech like an angry pig.

"Oh no," Sarah groaned. They all turned to the window, through which Darren had just leapt.

"Debbie?" he called out.

"DARREN!" Debbie screamed from the cupboard. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? LET ME OUT! GET ME OUT NOW!"

"OK-"

"DARREN!"

"I'm about to, hang on, I need to get the key."

"HURRY UP!"

Darren turned to the girls, his face stony as he held out his hand.

"Give me the key," he commanded coldly. Jenny looked distraught.

"But…but Darren-"

"You can't just lock people up like that!" he snapped. "What did she ever do to you?"

"It's what she does to you!" Jenny exclaimed. "She's horrible to you! How can you put up with it?"

"Because…because she has her bad points, but she also has her good points," he said. Debbie fell silent to listen. "Sure, she screams at me. Sure, she holds terrible grudges. Sure, she slaps me. Sure, she blames me for things that aren't my fault. But she can also be kind. She's beautiful, and she's giving me a chance. And makes good scones." Jenny's eyes shone with tears as he asked, "can I have the key?"

"No!" Sarah snapped.

"YES!" Debbie shouted. Darren kept his eyes locked on Jenny, who seemed to be wrestling with herself. Then, slowly, she pulled the key out of her pocket and put it in Darren's outstretched hand, giving it a quick squeeze as she did so. He smiled at her.

"Thanks." He went to open the door while the girls watched in a grim silence. The door opened and Debbie literally fell out of the cupboard, gasping for air as though she'd been there for days, not hours. She clutched Darren's trousers and sobbed on the floor, wailing and shouting about things unintelligibly. "Debbie?" he said.

"Myclassjustturnedonmeandlock edmeinIthoughtIwasgoingtodie !" she wailed, hugging his legs tightly.

"Well, you're OK. I got you out of there." He couldn't reach down to hug her without falling over, so he patted the top of her head. She nodded and snivelled miserably.

"…does anyone else find it weird how one minute she's super bitchy and the next she's pathetic and sensitive?" A member called Nikki asked, watching Debbie sob and whimper with mild disgust.

"It's one of the many questions that no one will ever be able to answer," Rose replied. She glanced at Jenny, who looked extremely confused. "Are you OK?"

"I hate her so much," she said, "but Darren doesn't. I couldn't do that to him, even if I did want to get rid of her."

"Perhaps it was the right decision," Sarah said. The others all mumbled in agreement-except Abby and Jeanette, who looked incredibly sulky. Back by the stationary cupboard Darren had hauled Debbie to her feet. He offered her a tissue, but instead she buried her face in his shoulder and cried all over his shirt. He sighed.

"I'll walk you home," he said. Debbie nodded, released him and wobbled across to the door (it was hard to work when the heel of her right shoe was snapped), glaring at the girls as she passed them. Nikki couldn't resist sticking her tongue out at her. Darren followed, but paused.

"Darren," Debbie asked. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah, just…wait outside for a sec." Debbie normally wouldn't have, but she was in such a pitiful shape that she actually did as he asked. Once she was safely outside, Darren turned to the group. "Please don't lock her in anymore cupboards."

"We won't," Jenny promised. "I'm sorry, I really am…"

"I know. I get why you did it, and…thanks," he said, smiling a little. Jenny nodded, then threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"I'll always be waiting if you need me," she whispered. He laughed.

"I'll remember that."

"Seriously," she said. She released him and snatched up some paper and a pen from a pot that had spilled out from the cupboard, and hurriedly wrote down her number. She handed it to Darren. "Here. My number."

"Thanks," he said, pocketing it. They smiled at him, and he blushed.

"DARREN!" Debbie shouted from outside. She seemed to have recovered.

"Just a minute!" he yelled back, then said to Jenny, "I'll text you my number if you really want."

"Great," she said happily. He looked to the others.

"And, even if you were a bit…misguided, I appreciate you trying to help me."

"Oh it was nothing," Abby said sarcastically. "It's not like we had numerous plans, were attacked by angry bees, accidently killed someone else with a melon or set a highly deadly snake on the loose."

"…What?"

"DARREN!"

"I have to go," he said hurriedly, then waved. "Bye."

"Bye," Jenny said quietly. He went over to the door, and left the room. There was a long silence.

"You know," Amber pointed out. "There is a chance that Debbie could still die. Maybe Steve will kill her, or Larten."

"I don't think Larten will…"

"Maybe not, but Steve might. And that snake is still in her room."

"Oh yeah…"

"She could choke on a scone…"

While the others talked about the various ways Debbie could die or leave the city, Jenny was smiling at her phone. She looked at the most recent message-a phone number-and grinned.

She could still get him yet!

* * *

**Hope you liked it! Next fic on my list-Rebel-Angel'17's!**


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